It's now a month into year 2020... Happy New Year to everyone!
I know it was not an easy start of the year due to some tragic events all over the world, but I still wish a very good year for everyone. It's now second day of Feb so hoping everything will change into a positive one.
For this new year, I stop making new years resolutions as i tend to jinx myself. I haven't sat down to write my goals for this year. I think writing goals don't matter to me anymore. y procrastination always gets the best of me. To start, I had been planning to be more active in my blog for the looonggeeest time but still, that didn't happen.
Anywayz, 2019 has been a roller coaster year for me. Career-wise I was in a rut and was miserable, I know I shouldn't be feeling that way. I should be grateful to have a job (this has been my mindset before) which allows me to support my family. But then, no matter how hard I try to change my mindset, I feel my spirit and self yearns something more... which I know is on a completely different path. The sad thing is, I don't know which path is that. They said do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life...but what if you don't know your passion? What if you haven't found something you love to do over and over again?
I'm still in pursuit of this and I truly hope I find it this year. If anyone has tips or advice on how they overcame this, I greatly appreciate if you could share.
My Simple Wedding
On a personal note, a loooot have happened last year! They were great moments and they truly compensated the misery I felt in my career. Well to start, I married the love of my life! I always think I am not the marrying type as I have been strongly independent for so long. I was very scared to lose the freedom of being single. Fate intervened and I met a man who changed my mind. All my fears and worries didn't matter anymore. All I know is, I trust my life with this person and I would gladly share forever with him.
My husband is a very private person and doesn't like me posting our life away. He is not very active in soc med and oftentimes he is just lurking around (an exact opposite of me...lol). Don't get me wrong, I am private to some extent but I still love sharing a bit about my life on social media. I only love posting shallow and nonsense stuff though. I still keep serious and very personal stuff private :D
My blog on the other hand is more personal and I hope my hubby won't stumble on it haha This would be one of the rare posts I would post his pics... I feel guilty doing this already :S...
We have plans of getting married when we were still dating, but it's nothing concrete. We both wanted to be more settled especially on the financial side before deciding to wed. I guess life has a different plan for us. Last April, I found out I am pregnant. It was unexpected and totally caught us by surprise. :D
After I took the home kit test and got a positive result, I planned to go to a clinic the next day to really confirm before I tell my husband (still bf then). I was so anxious the whole night that I couldn't wait to tell him. He always told me his lifelong desire is to have a kid. Still, I don't know what his actual reaction will be when he learns he will finally have a baby.
He was a bit sick at that time, but I messaged him anyway. He was very shocked and wasn't able to sleep that night lol! After the initial shock, my husband wanted to make it right I think and asked that we marry. I am not really a big believer of marriage but I said yes as I know he is the right man for me.
We planned for a very intimate and casual ceremony. We decided to have the ceremony at our Celebrant's office ,which has a very lovely garden. We also agreed to only have 2 guests, one for him and one for me. We were actually on the process of buying a house at that time and it was more our priority over the wedding. Planning our civil wedding ceremony took a back seat as we were so busy with our house hunting. We didn't even plan on buying wedding outfits or book a restaurant. We both wanted to treat it like a normal day. We only planned to do a quick ceremony, walk in to a random restaurant and then go home. Days before the wedding though, my husband got excited and invited a few of his friends. Our guests now increased so it's embarrassing not to have a celebration. I panic-searched for a restaurant and was able to book one couple of days before the wedding. We managed to find our wedding outfits 1-2 days before the event! We even attended a house auction 2 hours before our wedding schedule :D
As we initially plan to have a very simple and no-fuss celebration, we eventually realized that having few of our close friends and family made our event more fun and memorable. We loved our simple wedding day! We were surrounded by great friends and family. As an introvert, I really loved how our wedding turned out.
Our Baby Bully
.'Jan 02, 2020, we welcomed our new bundle of joy! My pregnancy was very much uncomplicated until 2 weeks before my due date. I had the routine checkup when the GP sternly warned me that any change on baby's movements, I should call the hospital quickly. I was not actively monitoring my baby's movements prior to this checkup as he was very active. After that checkup, I got paranoid and noticed he was not moving as much as before. I decided to go to hospital late in the evening for them to check. Everything was good but they had us come back in 2 days for another ultrasound and rounds of monitoring.
We came back and everything was normal until the baby's heartbeat dropped below normal during the end of the heartbeat monitoring. Everything then went crazy! The midwife sounded the alarm and almost all the interns, another midwife and an OB came rushing to my bed. I wasn't able to leave the hospital after that. Even when the baby's heartbeat normalized, they advised me to stay in the hospital. The doctors then convinced me to be induced, which later ended in emergency C-section due to the dropping of heartbeat. It was scary labor for us! I was rushed to the surgery room twice and I finally decided to have a C-section as to not risk my baby anymore. It was such a relief we were able to deliver my baby boy healthy and safe.
We love every minute with our baby whom we call Bubby! All the sleepless nights, exhaustion and challenges of having a newborn are definitely worth it! I am so blessed and thankful for the support I have from my Mom, Jermaine and my Hubby. I'm so happy to see my husband so inspired and motivated with life. He has lots of plans for us. I can see his effort and eagerness to take care and provide for us. It's like our baby gave him a new lease on life.
It is also very heart-warming to see how Jermaine loves her baby brother. She has been wanting to have a sibling for so long. I thought it was just a phase and would eventually end once she discovers the challenges of taking care a baby. I was wrong! She really adores her baby brother so much. Sometimes my husband has a hard time bonding with his son as Jermaine would scold him if he tries to kiss the baby. It is like they are competing with each other in caring for the baby haha. She would always go to her baby brother the moment she wakes up. She would also run to his side whenever she hears he is awake. It is adorable and heart-melting to see how she is so protective of his brother.
With the birth of my son, I now choose to have a grateful heart. I realized, I have everything I need. :)
I am a Filipina, formerly based in Singapore and is now living permanently in Melbourne. Yet, I am really a global citizen at heart. :)